Primal Stream (of Semi-Consciousness)

On this second school-snow day in a row, it seems like a good time to finally sit myself down, and begin my blog.  It’s about 5 a.m. as I am writing this, and it’s nice and quiet in the house.

I would like to dedicate this first entry to the memory of my neighbor, John Mysliwiec.  John passed away tragically and unexpectedly at the age of 51 on December 31st.  The shock waves extend out into the neighborhood, beyond his wonderful family, who are obviously devastated.  The Mysliwiecs are among the finest, loveliest, most decent people I know.  John’s funeral, which took place at St. Joseph’s Cathedral in Hartford just over a week ago, was a transformative experience for me.  I have never been to a more beautiful funeral, or religious service of any kind, for that matter.  Although the sadness was palpable in the air, this served to enhance the aching beauty of the funeral mass, which was propelled along by a mesmerizing church organ, ethereal sopranos and moving speakers.  It was a fitting funeral for such a beloved and good man.

The loss of John is tremendous, and it hits close to home for me in more ways than one.  I myself lost my dad suddenly and unexpectedly when he was 53 (in 1977).  It is a tough adjustment, and it took me a hell of a long time via a circuitous route, but it’s doable.  And if there is any family who can pull together and support one another in the most heart-felt and truly decent way, it is the Mysliwiec family.  I admire their faith, and their love for one another, and I consider myself very lucky to have them as next-door neighbors.  May they find comfort and thrive.  They would be the ones to tell me, probably, that that is what John would have wanted.

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So, now onto the petty and silly stuff.

I have just come up with a new acronym for feminine, middle-aged crabbiness.  It usually coincides with an Estrogen Free Fall, so I am calling it EFFing.  Effing this and Effing that….does that strike a chord with anybody?  At the very least, you could view it as a justified way of swearing through the back door.  Which can come in handy when you have agreed to pay your kid fifty cents every time you use the “F” word.  (I’m thinking about just giving him a weekly stipend up front.)

I am on a completely different circadian rhythm from the rest of my family.  I can’t seem to sleep past 5 am, and am usually in bed quite early at night to sort of make up for this.  They (Dean, my husband, and Cam, my eleven-year old son) can easily sleep late, and are night owls.  (I’m a middle-of-the-night-owl, which is different.  It’s what insomniacs do, not people who can go to sleep late and are able to sleep continuously, and late.)

It’s interesting, but I remember my dad being like me in this respect.  I knew he was up early pretty much every day (probably because I was up early, laying in bed with the gerbil in my mind running fast on its wheel).  I could hear him knocking around downstairs, and I could smell the toast he made.  I don’t think he was a major coffee drinker, but I do remember seeing him make cups of instant coffee for himself to go along with his toast.  It’s weird to think of this now at this level of detail.  I’ve not thought about it for awhile.  My dad would load different concoctions onto slices of toast, like orange marmalade, peanut butter, and cottage cheese, and he would encourage me to try them.  I think he was proud of his creative concoctions.  (He was a physicist, after all!)

I am also like my dad (whose name was William or Bill or Willy or Vevvy, depending on who was addressing him) in that I have an urge to write, and often will sit in my car and do it, just like him.  I have the added advantage of Sirius/XM satellite radio’s comedy and old music channels, which can be inspirational.  But also annoying.  I can’t believe how many ads they run on the comedy channels, mostly about penile enhancement, and it really makes me angry.  I mean, this is pay radio, so why the hell am I listening to so many ads?  I scrawled  a “crazy person message” all over a bill remittance form I sent in to Sirius/Xm with a recent payment; it was something to the effect that it was a travesty of justice that they run so many ads on satellite radio.  I thought we were paying to not have to hear so many ads!

Well, I hear life stirring upstairs, so will close now.  I appreciate it if you’ve read this, and hope it’s been enjoyable.  I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing, with regard to blog format and such, so I am just relying on my usual stream of semi-consciousness to guide me along.

I look forward to my next opportunity to take up your time, and in the meantime, please be well and…….sea cortés! *

*I used to think this technically meant “be nice” in Spanish, and I said it a lot to my friends when I was taking Spanish in high school;  I must have thought this was cool, somehow.  However, I just ran it through an on-line translator, only to find out it means “be polite”.  That’s OK, too, I guess.

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One Response to Primal Stream (of Semi-Consciousness)

  1. joan barker says:

    love this will read more hope you are well, dealing with death of fatherinlaw, soon for his sake, been in va hosp w haven almost 3 mths. see you soon , love joan

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