My Commentary on “Jersey Shore”, Expressed Metaphorically

I choose to express my dismay for shows like “Jersey Shore” by re-writing the lyrics to the song “Hang On Sloopy”.  Nothing personal (or true), of course.

**********************

Hand Job Snooki (sung to the tune of “Hang On Sloopy”)

Hand job, SnookiSnooki, hand job!
Hand job, Snooki!  Snooki, hand job!

Snooki lives in a very bad part of town
And everybody ’round her wants to bed little Snooki down

Snooki, noone cares that your daddy used to do you
‘Cause you know Snooki, everyone wants a hand job from you

Hand job, SnookiSnooki, hand job!
Hand job, Snooki!  Snooki, hand job!

Snooki had her hair done, and let us know with a tweet
She’s goin’ out to the clubs, she likes to show off dark meat

Snooki wears a red dress, yeah, but it’s three sizes too small
When Snooki wears that dress, yeah, it got her thrown out of the mall

Hand job, SnookiSnooki, hand job!
Hand job, Snooki!  Snooki, hand job!

I see Snooki street-walkin’, her hair blown by the breeze
I say don’t worry Snooki, girl, you’ll beat the STDs

and so I say now

Hand job, SnookiSnooki, hand job!
Hand job, Snooki!  Snooki, hand job!

Well it feels so good (come on, come on)
You know it feels so good (come on, come on)
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, Snooki (come on, come on)
Shake it, shake it, shake it yeah (come on, come on)

Hand job, SnookiSnooki, hand job!
Hand job, Snooki!  Snooki, hand job!

© 2011  J.G. Rapoza

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One Response to My Commentary on “Jersey Shore”, Expressed Metaphorically

  1. PAT says:

    LOVED THE “SNOOKI” SONG!!!

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