Monthly Archives: May 2011

Sanitary Stand-Up and Other Random Ramblings

My mom is always mentioning “clean” comics to me.  She likes to promote stand-up comedians who don’t work “blue”; that is, they keep it fairly G-rated.  She recently gave me an article about Henry Cho (a clean comic, not pictured … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I Really Wish I’d Written That Line, #2

From Bill Maher’s monologue on HBO’s 5.20.11 “Real Time”, of (most recently discovered) Arnold Schwarzenegger’s impregnated maid: “It was a very unusual situation for the housekeeper.  She had him in twice a week.”

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Driveway’s A Country Road

I decided to compose some alternate lyrics to John Denver’s “Thank God I’m A Country Boy” as I walked down my driveway yesterday to put letters in the mailbox. (Please send any paving quotes or recommendations to me via comments.  … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

I Really Wish I’d Written That Line

“Between the death of bin Laden and the royal wedding, it’s an exciting time to be in the commemorative plate business.” – Jimmy Kimmel

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Osama’s Bin Laden To Rest

Osama is now dead.  I keep trying to digest this fact.  If there were still Yiddish Vaudeville (and maybe there is, and now I’ve humiliated myself by revealing my ignorance), they could perform a musical version of the story, bring … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment