Clap For Dogs

I was having the following thoughts the other morning before getting out of bed.

Dogs are wonderful people.  (I have believed this for a long time, despite never having owned a dog.)  They do so much for humans, and are so loyal.  I was recalling a fascinating interview I’d heard recently on NPR’s Fresh Air (Weds. 6/1) about this country’s first dog trainer (he was in the military), and the American dog-training movement his work triggered after WWII.  I did not hear the earlier part of the interview, but suspect the discussion may have originated from the fact that a special ops dog was critical in aiding the recent assassination of Osama bin Laden.

Coincidentally, I heard dogs being discussed again the next day on NPR.  Many of you are probably already aware that dogs can detect disease (or significant “bodily events”, like the impending birth of a baby) in humans weeks or even months in advance of measurable symptoms.  Specially trained dogs can actually pick up on an epileptic seizure in a human hours before it occurs.  I never cease to be amazed by dogs’ abilities.

I’m not really sure how my mind made the following jump, though.

I was thinking that it would be tough to be in the dating world today (in part) because of fear of STDs.  And then I thought, what about the disease-sniffing dogs?  They could be employed beautifully to address this issue.

Say you are dating someone, and you would like to get intimate with them (I suspect there might still be a few people around these days who progress in that order).  Just let Fido go medieval on their crotches, and see what he comes up with.  (They don’t need to know the dog is a trained STD-sniffer, and you don’t need to worry about their embarrassment upon experiencing the common humiliation of having their nether regions snuffled by a friendly canine.)

If the dog gives a “paws-up” based on his olfactory observation, great news!   If not, take a closer look, and you’ll see that your date probably looks like he or she “has dirty underwear”, after all.*

The great part of all this is that supposedly having a dog helps you meet lots of new people.  So Spot can reel ‘em in for you, and then help you throw back the bad ones.

Dogs!  They are just amazing people.





*A good friend of mine had a number of entertaining sayings, one of which he’d express when he saw a girl who looked excessively promiscuous:  “She looks like she has dirty underwear.”  I do remember him saying this about Madonna in the 80’s.  (Which is kind of funny, because I’m wondering if she ever wore any.)

About Joanna Rapoza

I've gone to (100's of) pieces here in my blogs. Read, enjoy, laugh, cure insomnia; it's your choice.
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