I’ll start with Rupert Murdoch. He is a classic reptile; a dinosaur, if you will. (Complete with scales!) Of all the reptilian things that have come out of his mouth during the ongoing British investigation of News Corp’s hacking scandal, the funniest was embedded in the answer he gave to a question about a similar situation he’d experienced a few years ago. Murdoch actually said the words, “The press had a field day with it”. WTF is he talking about? He is the press!
Of course, it often takes a reptile to marry a reptile, and Wendi Deng Murdoch is a good example of that. Her illustrious history: when she was younger, she latched onto an American couple visiting China (the land of Wendi’s birth), in order to learn English. Eventually, she came to this country, using the couple to get her green card. Wendi had an affair with the husband, caused a divorce, and then married him in order to gain U.S. citizenship. (They divorced after about two and a half years, when he found out she was having an affair with someone closer to her age.) Doesn’t she sound lovely?! Of course this creature would be the one to reach the top, and marry one of the pinnacles of the financial world, that great catch, Rupert Murdoch. (Cue my gag reflex.)
So, it REALLY pissed me off when the supremely reptilian Wendi smacked down (with her right hand) the shaving cream pie that was meant to hit her supremely reptilian husband Rupert in the face.
It also annoyed me that someone on the investigative panel tried to make a joke afterwards by saying to Murdoch, “(throat rumble) My…my…your wife has quite the left hook“. (Apparently this guy is dyslexic with regard to determining which hand, right or left, is being used in smacking down a pie that someone is trying to throw in someone else’s face. I’ll cut him some slack on that…..that happens to me sometimes, too.)
I’ve decided that no matter what the outcome of the investigation, (and of course I do hope that some charges, if not pies, stick), we are witnessing what will probably be most of the punishment for these cads, which will be: being inconvenienced. You can send the reptiles to jail, you can rake them over the coals publicly; but you can NEVER make them feel remorse. Do not kid yourself into thinking that may be possible. The BEST punishment for a human reptile, which has no feelings or conscience, but is more like a robot that is programmed to just do what it feels it needs to survive, is simply to deter it from doing the next thing on its agenda. In other words, inconvenience it. Ever see that pissed-off look a snake gets when he’s waiting to cross the road? No? OK. Well, it’s very simple: a reptile is most unhappy when it’s not getting what it wants. It doesn’t feel bad about swallowing your cat and digesting it under your weeping cherry tree for several days, but it sure as hell would be very annoyed if you waved magic nausea-inducing smelling-salts under its nose, and caused it to vomit the cat back up. (Or if you just kept your cat indoors in the first place, which is the best option.)
The funniest part of the below (33-second) video is the guy sitting at the rightmost end of the big U-shaped table. He doesn’t react or move at all during or after the pie mishap, and it’s kind of amusing (as are some of the comments reacting to the video on youtube). Take special note of him – he is like a statue.