Shag, American Style

I was looking around in my house for a valuable gift certificate we’ve got for a local Persian rug store.  I could not remember the store name at the moment, so I yelled out to my husband, “Hey, where did we put that gift certificate for the rug store…what’s it called….’Kardashian’s’?”  I knew that was not the right name, but for some reason, that surname seems to be at the forefront of many peoples’ minds these days.  (Not to mention at the foreskin of many men’s minds.) (That’s right.  I’m saying it…that’s where their minds sometimes are).

Anyway, we laughed at the thought of the Kardashians running a floor covering store.  I said, “Well, I get the feeling in that store, the rugs probably would match the drapes!”

A smile came over my husband’s face. “Maybe they don’t have rugs.  Maybe they only have bare floors.”  Then, “Waxed, bare floors.”  To which I replied, “Why don’t you go back to watching your sports, Honey.”

I wonder how long it will be before America tires of the Kardashians.  Just when I think I am completely sick of them (which is the vast majority of the time), they do something entertaining that I’m really glad I didn’t miss.  For instance, in early September, when there was the constant discussion on TV about the tenth anniversary of 9/11, I was about to shut it all down, because it was so depressing.  But then I came across Kim Kardashian on a channel I don’t usually watch, expounding on the matter.  (Hhhmm……that’s a funny combination of words I thought I’d never put together: “Kim Kardashian expounding” on something.)

KK was coyly saying in her dimwitted nasal voice, “Ya know, I’m actually secretly glad our country no longer has the tallest buildings in the world….because that means we no longer have the smallest penises in the world.”  She slyly smiled to demonstrate her clever sense of humor.  “And we all know that when you have the smallest penises in the world, the terrorists win.”

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