If I Told You My Body Had A Message For You, Would You Hold It Against Me?

I watched the entire three seasons of Lenny Marcus’ web series “Superstar Talent Agency” (you can view the episodes here) in typical Joanna-fashion – all at once, in an orgy of comedy over-indulgence.  (A while ago, an opportunity to view on-line the entire first season of the TV program “Louie” resulted in a similar consumption-fest, after which I was so cosmically moved, I sent my first Tweet ever to Louis, telling him he was a “mensch”.)

I really enjoyed Lenny Marcus’ “Superstar Talent Agency”, as well, and even had one script idea, which you may read below.  Aren’t you excited?  Don’t you feel like a big Hollywood producer?  OK, maybe not.  Don’t feel bad.  I hear it’s a rough life, anyway.

Script Idea For Lenny Marcus’ Famous Webseries “Superstar Talent Agency”:  Lenny is seated in a restaurant with a hipster friend, as well as his agent, the slime-ball Avi.  Avi continually amazes everyone as to how low he can go.  The scene opens with him getting up to go use the mens’ room, and as he walks away, Lenny’s friend slightly rolls his eyes and throws a private glance, as if saying, “How can you stand this dude?”

As soon as Avi is out of earshot, Hipster launches into a rushed but quiet diatribe:  “How can you stand that dude!  On a personal level, he’s one of the shallowest people I know!”  The camera goes back and forth between Hipster’s and Lenny’s faces, and you have a nice juxtaposition of hipster/jaded/realist-face with sad-sack/offspring-of-Bill-Gates-and-Jerry-Lewis-face.

Hipster to Lenny:  “Do you know anything about body language?”

Lenny:  “Whaddaya mean?”

Hipster:  “You know, like the unconscious movements that people make when they’re talking, or doing something, that tell a whole lot about what they’re really like?”

Lenny:  “So…..I should be seeing Avi pretending to wipe the slime off him?”

Hipster:  [wry, brief snort of laughter]  “Yeah, kind of, I guess…just watch him when he gets back.”

Lenny:  [looking skeptical]  “OK.”

Hipster:  “You watch…it’s a total goof to see someone so shallow and unaware of themselves when they do this stuff!  Really Pavlovian, man.”

Fleeting image of Lenny’s face looking slightly confused by that last statement, conveying the “face-language” message:  “How shallow and uninformed do you have to be to associate Pavlov’s dogs and the science of body language?”

Avi comes back from the mens’ room, sits back down, and picks up a large pen that is sitting on the table.  He starts pontificating right away (for whatever reason) on the differences between his new secretary and his wife.  Each time he mentions the secretary, he visibly and distinctively moves the pen into the upright (but not necessarily locked) position.  Each time he mentions the wife, he lays the pen right down.  (A sort of “wilted pen” syndrome, you might say.)  While Avi is blathering on (let’s assume he ad-libs, for now), we get about three repeats of these contrasting body language messages, whereupon Lenny exasperatedly interrupts, and says, “Avi, do you realize what you’re doing with that silly pen?!”

Avi, looking startled, and even just a little bit hurt:  “No…what?”

Lenny:  “Every time you mention your new secretary, you stick that pen straight up.  And as soon as you mention your wife, you immediately lay it down flat.  Every time!  What do you think about that?”

Avi suddenly looks vaguely crushed, and then what for him must pass as “pensive”.  Quietly:  “I don’t know, maybe it’s……”  At which point he launches into a childish (but amusing) and exaggerated gesture of masturbating with the pen.

Switch to a shot of Lenny’s face, looking disappointed and horrified at the same time:  “Well, I get that message pretty loud and clear.”

Hipster:  “Isn’t that the international sign for ‘I’m a dick?’”

The End – Cut to Music/Credits!

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