The Latest Lunacy

Dino Treats:

If you lead a Tyrannosaurus Rex to water, he just might eat a Jesus Fish.

 

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If  You’re Happy And You Know It, Crap Your Hands

The most recent statistics reveal that Asians are now the biggest immigrant group in America, having surpassed Hispanics.  They’re also the group with the most education and financial success.  So Asians are the happiest immigrants; they just don’t know it yet.

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U R what U “like” on FB:

On Facebook, a person of average intelligence “likes” (for instance) surfing.

A person of above-average IQ “likes” eating escargot while reading Shakespeare.

Whereas the dummy “likes”….detergent.

(Thank God, actually.)

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Don’t Knock Old Knockers:

I finally got dragged to a Hooters restaurant by my family after resisting for years.  It was actually pretty decent.  This gave me an idea for a new chain of restaurants with scantily clothed “waitresses of a certain age”.  It could be called “Seasoned Hooters”, and their specialty would be aged meats.

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Delusions of Grand Duh:

I’m fifty now, and no matter what your experience or credentials are, I harbor the insane notion that I’m more qualified than you to perform anything that doesn’t require surgery.  (And even so, I’d be willing to try that on you, if you’re up for it.)

I’ve now attended the School of Self-Flagellation and Merciless Introspection for a long time, resulting in an advanced degree.  If you are the type of person who needs to tell me five times what letters appear after your last name, in doing so, you tell me much more about yourself than those credentials ever could.

And by the way, B.S. in Accounting, UConn at Storrs, School of Business, Cum Laude, graduated one semester early.  Alive.  Believe me; that was an accomplishment.

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