Particle Worship: I always feel a tiny something tickling my soul whenever I hear the occasional story from the world of physics concerning the discovery of a new molecular micro-crumb. Or a story like the recent confirmation, based on acid trips of scientists, that we’ve found the elusive Higgs Boson particle. The God particle! I ask you: what does it matter, anyway? One dusting and it’s all gone. Though the chances of that happening in my house are low.
Long live the God particle.
A Maxim: Simply being on stand-by is way under-appreciated.
Man vs. Chimps: So I was talking to my son about those two chimps that mauled the guy from Texas, and I was recounting all the injuries. The puzzling one, to me, was the ripping off of one testicle. I said, “How do you get just one? Isn’t it a package deal?”
To which my son replied, “Nah, he probably got just the one. Monkeys are sloppy.”
Scat-ter Brained: Folks in nursing homes often have self-defecating senses of humor.
Insult To Injury: Can they be serious when the Hoveround people say your free gift with purchase is a travel mug? That’s like offering porn to a blind man.
Reptile Rainbow Bridge: Some kids recently found an alligator near the Connecticut River. The DEP took it away because exotic pets are illegal in the state. They said it would be sent to a “wildlife facility in Massachusetts”. In other words, it’s going to a nice alligator community “up north”. Where they coincidentally make handbags.
The Self-Driving Jew: Many of us Jews feel like the Chosen People only to the extent that we often end up being the designated driver.