Geezer Peeves And Other Important Updates

I recently learned of two things that understandably bother old people (told to me by two authorities, i.e., “old people”):

1.  It’s annoying to elderly folks when they’re telling someone a story from their lives, and how a certain historical event was the backdrop, and the person they’re talking to immediately is searching the net on their phone to determine if the dates line up.  Further, the instant lay-librarian is not too shy to tell old Aunt Marge “That didn’t happen to you that year!”  So, not only does the story get derailed and geezers are dehumanized that much more, but it’s also evident this new generation of faux historians has no interest in talking to actual human beings.  I extrapolate this phenomenon to the point where I picture a bunch of old folks on a porch, lined up in rockers with iPhones, arguing over dates important stuff happened in their lives.  “You did not have your hysterectomy the year JFK was killed.  I remember you told me you were so depressed, you got knocked up right after it happened.”

2.  It seems like there are more and more TV commercials that are intentionally made to seem similar to the program being broadcast.  So, old folks sometimes get confused and wonder who these new characters are that suddenly showed up.  And then they’re gone just as suddenly as they arrived.  But no matter:  between the dementia, delirium and the apathetic relatives, old folks are used to people dropping in and out of their lives quickly anyway.

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What follows are the “important updates”.  There truly is one actual important update, at the end.  The stuff in between is just fluff.

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Jig Pits:  They are real things.  They are the dance areas next to where bagpipe bands are playing.  Not for the faint of heart.

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They’re Blonding Us With ScienceColin McEnroe’s weekday NPR radio show (1-2pm on WNPR 90.5 FM) recently did an installment concerning modern physics.  I can’t remember who it was, but someone was quoted as saying he read science journals “for the metaphors”.

I’ve got some advice for new physicists:  if you can’t quantify it, shut the f*ck up.  Leave the word pictures to the trained bullsh*t artists.

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A Maxim:  Laughing is a two-way gift.

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Mondays On Blast Will Be A Blast (from the past):  I was reflecting on the 8/6 show I’m slated to do at The Apartment in Providence.  In a way it’s going to be like one of those old-timey shows where they perform live for an audience and simultaneously broadcast it over the radio station.  You know, like Prairie Home Companion.

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Important schedule update:  I have CANCELLED my August 11th comedy appearance in New London, CT.  I do still have THREE upcoming shows.  The 7/13 fundraiser in Meriden, CT is sold-out.  But…you may still get information and discounted tickets t0 the 7/17/12 (NYC) Ladies of Laughter prelim competition that I’ll be in by Going To My Previous Blog Post.  Also…stay tuned for more info about tix for my 7/29 Stand Up New York show, and the 8/6 show at The Apartment in Providence is free!

This entry was posted in Funny Irreverent Stuff, Serious Stuff. Bookmark the permalink.

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