My Three Wives

Apparently, there’s a new reality TV show featuring polygamists.  I don’t plan on finding out, but I wonder if the husband will have to take Viagra, because  I saw on HBO’s Big Love that Bill (the husband) had to do so to keep up sexually with his three wives.  When I mentioned to my 82-year-old mom that a common Viagra side effect is blurry vision, she said, “That could make things more stressful….a guy might think he’s got five wives instead of three.”  My reply:  “Not sure about that.  But it could get pretty awkward if he yelled the wrong name during sex.”

My mom mentioned that she’d heard that all the wives on the new polygamy show had separate bedrooms.  I’d think an essential requirement for these types of relationship(s) would always be separate bedrooms for sister-wives.  But what about poverty-stricken polygamist families who live in small houses, who can neither afford separate sleeping quarters nor a Feng Shui expert to come in and help them?  What if two sister-wives shared a bedroom with bunk-beds?  This could only give rise to bad feelings, and perhaps the following thoughts I imagine Lower Bunk Wifey might be thinking as Top Shelf Wifey is making hot, sweet love to the big, wonderful husband up above:

“Hunh!  He never does that move for me!”

“Now I know what that bitch meant when she said she liked it on top.”

“Ha!  The last wife to insist he do it from behind ended up on a doggy bed by the hearth.”

“I never thought I’d feel henpecked by an actual pecker.”

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