Saturday Stream of Semi-Consciousness

We Fly You Extra Long Time:  The TV ads for Air Asia boast silent babies.  Korean Air commercials feature giant beautiful people stepping over entire cities.  I never knew Asians were such show-offs.


You’re Trying To Come A Long Way, Baby:  If Viagra is covered under medical insurance, then so should female sexual enhancement drugs (if they exist).


Balance Your Books:  You gotta serve somebody.  And it’s impossible to have personal assets without liabilities.


The Sad Truth:  I will never be accused of stealing anyone else’s jokes because I can’t even remember my own.


Got Too Much Milk?  It would be great if you could treat your teenager like a veal calf.  Keep them chained up in one place so you always know where they are.  Feed them lots and lots of milk.  Imagine the healthy bones.


Skewed Perspective:  Sometimes I wonder if my smile is straight and the rest of my face is what’s crooked.


Testicle Envy:  My son and I were arguing as we arrived at the local library.  Walking towards the main entrance, I shouted after him, “If you think you’ve got bigger balls than I do, you’re mistaken!”  It was a great way to get him to move quickly into the building.  I then noticed a woman staring at me from the parking lot with an expression on her face that said, “I wish my kid and I could talk like that.”


Key & Peele:  This comedy duo is amazing.  I loves the double mochachino.

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