We Fly You Extra Long Time: The TV ads for Air Asia boast silent babies. Korean Air commercials feature giant beautiful people stepping over entire cities. I never knew Asians were such show-offs.
You’re Trying To Come A Long Way, Baby: If Viagra is covered under medical insurance, then so should female sexual enhancement drugs (if they exist).
Balance Your Books: You gotta serve somebody. And it’s impossible to have personal assets without liabilities.
The Sad Truth: I will never be accused of stealing anyone else’s jokes because I can’t even remember my own.
Got Too Much Milk? It would be great if you could treat your teenager like a veal calf. Keep them chained up in one place so you always know where they are. Feed them lots and lots of milk. Imagine the healthy bones.
Skewed Perspective: Sometimes I wonder if my smile is straight and the rest of my face is what’s crooked.
Testicle Envy: My son and I were arguing as we arrived at the local library. Walking towards the main entrance, I shouted after him, “If you think you’ve got bigger balls than I do, you’re mistaken!” It was a great way to get him to move quickly into the building. I then noticed a woman staring at me from the parking lot with an expression on her face that said, “I wish my kid and I could talk like that.”
Key & Peele: This comedy duo is amazing. I loves the double mochachino.