Bears And BMs: My son asked me, “So, Mom, does a bear really shit in the woods?”
I replied, “Yes, if he’s not constipated.”
“No, I’m being sarcastic. Of course bears shit in the woods. Where else would they go? I imagine they do actually get constipated, though, especially when they’re waking up from their long annual hibernation. Remember how we saw on that nature show about how the bears start eating all kinds of ‘cloggy’ things right before they go lay down for the big winter sleep, like dirt and sticks and rocks and all kindsa stuff that will keep them from crapping during hibernation? Because even a bear knows you don’t want to shit where you sleep.”
BringExtraDanceCards.com: Instead of going to match.com….don’t limit yourself! Find God’s matches for you at mormondate.com.
Yes, I Can, Dammit: I saw a guy run a red light, and immediately assumed he was on too high a dose of Abilify.
A Maxim: Too many actors spoil the scenery. No matter how beautiful they may be.
Cuban Tubers: Good name for a memoir if Castro had grown potatoes. Sometimes a tuber is not a cigar.