I once saw Heidi Klum quoted in a magazine interview as saying, “If I want a banana, I have a banana.” (I read it out loud to myself three times sounding vaguely Eurotrashy. The third time, I put the accent on the last syllable of “banana“, for something different.)
Heidi’s comment was in reference to, you guessed it, the ongoing struggle between spokes-model and banana. Or more broadly (so to speak), carbs. Oh, Heidi, you are a beacon of light, shining your own brand of fruity common sense out in every direction for us all to absorb. Like a high glycemic-index food, your wisdom immediately fills me with the sweet sugar-rush that I normally can only get from bananas.
I heard that there’s something in bananas that is supposed to help you sleep. Is that why Heidi demands a banana? Does she have insomnia, like me? Does she feel the weight of the world always dragging down her shoulders, despite a relatively small bust-size and sensible bras? Perhaps.
I just went to eat a banana in order to go back to sleep, and it was a little too green. I struggled with it in the dark kitchen, and then finally resorted to cutting it with a small knife.
No matter; fruit feels no pain, and, like Heidi Klum, I always get my banana.