Lord, I Was Born A Rambling Woman: Ruminations For The First Monday Of December, 2012

Dogmatic Leadership:  Humans are like pack animals who need to live in communities.  And have a good, strong pack leader, not a person who’d strap a dog to the roof of a car.

Women don't like it too much, either.

Women don’t like it, either.

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A maxim:  I dispense an awful lot of common sense, and that’s why I’ve got so little left for myself.

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http://zeldalily.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/homeless-rich.jpgElegant Shelters:  I recently was driving through a rich town in Litchfield county (Connecticut), and realized they didn’t have street people.

They had boulevard individuals.

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Taste The Rainbud:  I am not a beer connossieur.  I like food, but I’m not a foodie.

I recently drank a Bud at lunch and sensed overtones of tart cherry.  Then I remembered I’d just hoovered a bag of Skittles Fruit Sours a little while before.

It was like seeing a rainbow over a field of hops.

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Blowhard Nation:  It’s appropriate that Donald Trump’s last name is Trump, because he has trumped up his own self-importance quite a bit, not based on any visible attributes that I can see.  And no, his hair has not yet been named a national monument.  (What for?  Hairspray?  Road kill?  The color “ginger”?)

Thank goodness you-know-who hasn't insisted on adding his own face.  We'd need another mountain range just for the hair.

Thank goodness you-know-who hasn’t insisted on adding his own image. We’d need another mountain range just for the hair.

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http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/images2/contraception_images/female_body_and_the_patch.gif

That’s What She Wrote:  I’m a self-trained writer.  I also potty-trained myself.  (OK, maybe my mother helped a little with that.)

I’m fully aware that this right here is piss-poor writing.  Or at least the subject matter is execrable.  I’m sure I can pinch off something better than this.  Keep reading.

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http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/images2/contraception_images/female_body_and_the_patch.gifUnplanned Baby Blues:  “If you didn’t want to get pregnant, you should have put a patch on it.”  ~~  My suggestion for a Pharmaceutical company’s female contraceptive slogan.

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“Young Nation, Violent Nation”:  This is an interesting book or essay title idea I came up with for something about Abe Lincoln, or really, it could apply to many other subjects.  It has not yet been used AFAIK, so I claim dibs now.

Daniel Day-Lewis in the leading role of "Lincoln", an extraordinary movie.

Daniel Day-Lewis in the leading role of “Lincoln”, an extraordinary movie, with a pretty good title.

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Back To The Maxims:  Sometimes the fruit of my loins is a pain in my ass.

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Mylanta For The Land:  I saw on the news recently that some sinkholes are burping.

Excuse me, I just passed natural gas.

Excuse me, I just passed natural gas.

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Bon Appetit:  What do Community Food Pantries in rich towns keep in stock?  Fresh basil?  Heirloom tomatoes?  Wilted endive salad?  (Only the truly rich can afford un-wilted endive salad.)

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Cocky and Ballsy:  Aren’t these great names for a pair of animated porn stars?  (They’d be gay, of course.  The straight guys would be named Dick and Buck.)

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