Monday Mumblings, Tardy On Tuesday

Age-old Maxim:  I no longer care if I get on others’ nerves.  I just need to learn to not get on my own nerves.

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Age-old Question:  Why does food always taste better when you’re horking it down in front of an open fridge?

You don't see too many people standing in front of open fridges like this, though.

How come we never see people standing in front of open fridges  like this one, horking stuff down?

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Better Living Through Chemistry, Not:  Those Androgen-T commercials continue to annoy me.  Big win for Big Pharma.  Let me get this straight….guys who normally don’t have a sex drive anymore (btw dudes, nature is talking to you) rub some gel on their balls to attain desire, then they take Viagra to sustain desire, and then their wives take tranquilizers because they thought they were already done with all that bullshit.

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New Definition of Rebuttal:  mooning someone more than once.

three times a mooner

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Think Outside The Docs  after many years of no luck with traditional western medicine, an eighty-eight year old friend is finally going to a trusted acupuncturist to get some long overdue back pain relief.  It was at my recommendation, so hopefully it works, and I’ve truly “got her back”.

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Surreal TV:  My friends have been pitching me reality TV show ideas.  It’s a bit surreal.

One friend had a concept that was a sort of a “Dental Chair Dreaming”.  You’d portray/display the thoughts that go through dental patients’ minds as they are in the chair undergoing procedures.  (Awhile back, I’d had a show idea involving me as a crazy nurse, or maybe a crazy dental hygienist.  I’d have an even crazier friend/aide/coworker named Mary.  Good times en realidad.)

That reminds me…..here’s a great spin-off idea:  “What’s Said In The Nursing Home Stays In The Nursing Home (Though Quite Often It’s Never Even Heard In The Nursing Home In The First Place)”

Nursing-Home-Union

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Sh!t-Eating Grid So how about that power grid, or the idea of eventually living “off” of it?  Don’t kid yourself.  You’re plugged in deeper than you’ll ever know, and the thought of disconnecting completely is simply not too bright.  Never forget that the “grid” is more than just waves on wires; there is an unseen power structure that eludes electricity.

shit eating grin baby

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On Jewish Wry:  A Semitic Sunset Story.  What you lose when you sprain your brain you eventually will regain.

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Zen Again:  Become neither intolerant nor intolerable as you age.  Try to Zen Out.  Yeah, you heard what I Zen.

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Deep Throat’s Biggest Lie:  “I promise not to whisper my real name in your ear.”

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Inspired by Nora Ephron’s Idea:  Six word memoirs are passé. Try doing it in five.  Think this can be done?  Maybe it will seem choppy?  Forget about using the semi-colon.  (‘Twas already a bad idea.)  I can tell already though; it’s an exercise for schizos.  Oops, the semi-colon slipped out.  Please forgive me, dear reader.

nora ephron

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2 Responses to Monday Mumblings, Tardy On Tuesday

  1. Paul says:

    Yes – you are being read!
    And even a chuckle or two too!
    Even if i’ve never see the andro-t commercial.

  2. snowlyjam says:

    hello

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