Maniacal Mumblings

Joanna crossing one eye at a time 001 (2)Age Delay

I waited a long time to do stand-up comedy because I never took myself that seriously.

(But I always wished Letterman’s show had a “Stupid Human Tricks” segment, so I could showcase the ability to cross one eye at a time.)

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Writing Is My Favorite Form Of Manual Labor:  I started passing funny notes as a child, and since then, it’s been going really, really well.

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Mean Unclean Cooking Machine:  I had to give the microwave a sponge-bath because it soiled itself.  Again.

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Minds In The Guttural:  In Newport, Rhode Island, I saw a group of German tourists squeeze five heads into one photo, and they even had a name for that.  They called it “FrameOurNoggins”.

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Knockski, Knockski:  Why do the Poles have such a good sense of humor?  It’s from all those centuries of telling one another Polish jokes.

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Name That Smell:  Wouldn’t it be funny if you went to a restaurant and saw a sign that said, “You may BYOB.  But please do not BYBO.”

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The Secret of Walmart’s Success:

"When folks see me, I hope they don't see someone without health insurance."

“When folks look at me, I hope they don’t see someone who has no health insurance.”

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