Mine Your Premises

I found a list of stand-up comedy topics/premises I made a couple of years ago after reading Judy Carter’s Comedy Bible.

Here are a few samples.  Even if no bits eventually emerge, it’s a fun list to read through:

  • Cracking of unexpected body parts
  • Difference between neurotic and hypochondriac
  • Dealing with menopausal women
  • Picturing people in their underwear doesn’t work anymore
  • Incomplete-looking nose jobs
  • Using intuition to avoid public gunfire
  • Drinking-compatible careers
  • Performing at nursing homes
  • Emotional hangovers
  • UFOs are strangely fascinating
  • Julia Roberts wants to age naturally
  • Is there a Halloween Scrooge?
  • “Good n’ Poopy”:  how many public restrooms can you access in a day by being exceptionally polite?
  • Cirrus clouds look like stretchmarks
  • I saw a hawk catch a pigeon and now the world is fucked
  • Internet psychics suck
  • Pros and cons of living in central CT
  • Boring Christmas letters and when to sign “love”
  • Absorption problems and hot dog toppings
  • Tandem wheelchairs will need to be invented
  • Writing hack is a step up from crap
  • Homeless guys have their own private schmorgasbords in train stations
  • Smelling the actual inside of your nose
  • No good erasers at old people’s homes
  • Couples who crap in front of each other
  • Portion of brain cordoned off, under construction
  • Louis CK, the Scots, and dick-purses
  • Laser-based colonics
  • Professional babies

baby_on_toilet

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One Response to Mine Your Premises

  1. doolinpup@aol.com says:

    Great choices there…go for it!

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