Shower Fresh Droppings

I just realized the comedy industry is a lot like inflation – it seems to top itself with each passing year.  Last April, Conan O’Brien and Chelsea Handler did a naked internet shower fight sketch.  They both seemed so comfortable in it – perhaps that was from the knowledge that their private parts were publicly pixilated.

She'd never admit he made her wet.

The acoustics were excellent.


rooster on the blockI drove through a neighborhood where almost every house had roosters in the front yard.

I thought, so that’s a cock block.


rabbi child costume wal-mart“What happens to all the schmattas they can’t sell?”

~~  Something entrepreneurial Jewish children might have asked if there were a Wal-mart in Brooklyn in the fifties.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^man pleasing chicken recipe looks like shit

Advice to amateur food photographers on Facebook:  if you would just zoom out a bit, it would look less like a turd.


My son’s going to Yale!

~~ Parent of kid who graduated from high school and got a janitor job at Yale

His cart will provide upward mobility.

His tool cart will provide upward mobility.


Comedy Central says at the top of each show that Tosh.0 is meant for mature audiences only, but speaking from personal experience, it’s better suited for the immature.

He's got big ones.

He’s got big ones.


How about those Skype ads on TV that depict different family members conversing emotionally from distant parts of the world?  I keep waiting to hear some kid scream, “Mommy, we never take vacations together anymore!”

Daddy says the weather is better without me here.

Daddy says the weather is better there without me.


I was driving through the city of Hartford (CT) with a friend, and she was critical of individuals we saw with ill-fitting trousers.  “Now, now,” I responded, “don’t be so quick to judge a book by its lack of a cover.”

pants hanging off


If I love riding my bike, does that make me a pedalophile?

Grace look ma no spank depends wedgy (2)

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