10. God is still annoyed with me.
9. Hipsters now popping up in services. Black skullcaps very slimming.
8. Noah requested a flood to clean things up because Swiffer not yet invented.
7. Getting a surgeon on Rosh Hashanah demonstrates the mighty power of prayer.
6. Don’t blow a shofar if you have bus fare.
5. When I don’t remember the liturgical music I just ccchhhhum along.
4. Microphone spit-screen sales are through the roof (see # 5)
3. The quietest babies are the unborn ones.
2. “The Rosh Hashanah Murders” – name of future novel inspired by behavior of teens during temple services
1. Delivering English readings with strong sarcastic tone is refreshing and feels much truer (see # 10).