Monthly Archives: November 2013

For Jews Who Don’t Shop, Saturday after Thanksgiving is a Black Sabbath

I’m waiting for a new reality TV show:  “Celebrities Who Suffered Hearing Loss From Movie Stunts They Tried To Do Involving Spraying Water”. It will consist of deaf celebrities attempting to tell one another jokes.  Occasionally, someone pulls out a … Continue reading

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Dark Thoughts For Black Friday

When I’m bloated and shopping I want to park in the expectant mother’s spot.  I mean, who’s gonna ask? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What’s worse than a receding hairline?  An encroaching one where it doesn’t belong. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Don’t stop taking your medication before … Continue reading

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Sculpted Thoughts

I hate guns and violence and I will pound the shit out of anyone who disagrees with me. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I walk backwards to get at the hard-to-reach cellulite. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I saw a figure approaching in the mist that looked like … Continue reading

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Statement Necklace

The statement is:  I’m Jewish. Non-practicing, of course.  And a bit ghetto. (Actually, the Star of David was a favor given at a friend’s Bar Mitzvah.)

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