Sculpted Thoughts

I hate guns and violence and I will pound the shit out of anyone who disagrees with me.

Speak softly and carry a big hulk.

Peace, or else.

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I walk backwards to get at the hard-to-reach cellulite.

Because they never get cellulite.

Because no cellulite.

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I saw a figure approaching in the mist that looked like a six-foot wild turkey.  Turned out to be another human with a large fluttering scarf.

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Cruel thing to say to a stutterer:  “Hold that thought.”

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Orthodontic Observations.

  1. Overheard from the next chair while my son was getting an evaluation:  “You’re gonna be all right.”  Really?  I thought orthodontia involved very few death sentences.
  2. First thing that made me suspicious was when they asked me for a urine specimen. I replied, “I’m not the patient.”
  3. I always thought an orthodontic career would be great.  You have the status and income of a doctor and (theoretically) no dying patients.  Plus you get to work with your hands.
Is it orthodontia, or is it porn?  I don't get out much.

Orthodontia or porn?  Maybe both.

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I neither binge nor fast upon Facebook. #moderation

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If I ever became super-successful, I’d be a chick magnate.

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Can you see Hemingway typing his thoughts onto an iPhone?  Forget that –  he’d stick with a manual typewriter.  Once you learn to master that kind of rustic keyboard, why would you let your fingers wimp out with anything else?

hemingway and typewriter outside

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