Dark Thoughts For Black Friday

When I’m bloated and shopping I want to park in the expectant mother’s spot.  I mean, who’s gonna ask?

Maybe it means motherf@ckers

Maybe it means motherfuckers?


What’s worse than a receding hairline?  An encroaching one where it doesn’t belong.


Don’t stop taking your medication before checking with your doctor.  Because doing so could also cause a decrease in your doctor’s income.


“Break a latke.” ~ what they’d say in Yiddish Vaudeville.


Potheads may never know if they have whooping cough.


Now that I’m older I realize it wasn’t just Blood Sweat & Tears.  There’s also lymph.


I had Thanksgiving dinner with my mom at assisted living.  I had to give her blind table-mate a tour of her own plate.  She was offended by the green bean casserole.

I used to think it was just babies who smiled when they had gas.  Now I know it’s also the elderly.

I jokingly asked the kitchen staff for some box wine and they brought me a selection of…box wine.  I chose the “white-ish blend”.


As a child, I didn’t have to constantly figure out who the trannies were.  My son does. I gotta wonder what that does to young brains, en masse.

Not to mention what it's doing to MY mind.

Not to mention what it’s doing to MY brain.



This entry was posted in Funny Irreverent Stuff and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s