I Heart One-Liners

IBS also keeps my mind clear.

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Why do I need a colonoscopy?  My ass gets checked out every day.

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My neighborhood is a high crime area.  Bitches be gettin’ high there all the time.

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Why have I not yet seen a t-shirt that says “Please give me access to your genitals”?

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Who knew I had such nice boobs?  I tell ya, not my hairdresser.

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Sometimes the fruit of my loins is a pain in my ass.

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Maybe I can’t sleep because I have to be awake because I’m so much fucking fun.

Someone else once thought I was fun, too.

Someone else once thought I was fun, too.

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