The Crawlspace Of My Psyche

If you think about it, this sign could actually inspire drinking and driving.

drive like your kids live here sign


You’re my everything, unless you’ve got an extra something I don’t want.


People like me bawdy.


Is it sex drive or just the heated seats?


Why don’t kids get curious about God while going through puberty?  It’s either before, or just afterwards, at the christening.


It was only when the orthopedist walked in the exam room to look at my floating patella that I realized I should have shaved my knees.  (And removed the black ankle socks.)

jo knee exam


I want to sing America’s “Horse With No Name” at karaoke because the verses only have two notes.  I can sing more but I’m into streamlining things.


For my initial colonoscopy, I’ll have perfect hair, nails and makeup. First impressions are important.


Since prehistoric times, wiseasses don’t live long lives.  That’s why I suspect I’ve been reincarnated a lot.


Exactly fifteen years ago someone first touched my fundus.


I now refer to my family as the people I’m “genetically involved with”.


The Emperor’s Clothes were the original public wardrobe malfunction.

emperor's new clothes

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