The Crawlspace Of My Psyche

If you think about it, this sign could actually inspire drinking and driving.

drive like your kids live here sign

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You’re my everything, unless you’ve got an extra something I don’t want.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

People like me bawdy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Is it sex drive or just the heated seats?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why don’t kids get curious about God while going through puberty?  It’s either before, or just afterwards, at the christening.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was only when the orthopedist walked in the exam room to look at my floating patella that I realized I should have shaved my knees.  (And removed the black ankle socks.)

jo knee exam

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I want to sing America’s “Horse With No Name” at karaoke because the verses only have two notes.  I can sing more but I’m into streamlining things.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For my initial colonoscopy, I’ll have perfect hair, nails and makeup. First impressions are important.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since prehistoric times, wiseasses don’t live long lives.  That’s why I suspect I’ve been reincarnated a lot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Exactly fifteen years ago someone first touched my fundus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I now refer to my family as the people I’m “genetically involved with”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Emperor’s Clothes were the original public wardrobe malfunction.

emperor's new clothes

This entry was posted in Funny Irreverent Stuff and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s