Everyone else is underqualified, why can’t I?

Tag line I’d use if I had to do online dating: “Don’t worry, you’ll be drunk.”
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On Everest, Mile High club means you’re a loser.
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The first black pope ever will be named Leroy I.
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“You’re going to have a kielbasa sandwich with Daddy” sounds like code for something sinister, doesn’t it?
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Still chuckling over text I sent kid regarding cloggage he left in toilet: “I’ll notify the cartographers”
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In Boston on Patriots’ Day, they emotionally proclaim “we are all one. Except for the Yankees.”
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Maybe if Fort Dix and Fort Hood got together sometime, it would take a little bit of that pressure off and we’d have fewer public shootings.

He's got her barracks.

He’s got her barracks.

 

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