Dyslexic people struggle to read 7/24

I found an old letter from Manischewitz apologizing for gefilte fish.

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I don’t like listening to podcasts because I feel like I’m eavesdropping on a conversation in which I have absolutely no interest whatsoever.

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Trying to make small talk at a party with symphonic musicians:  “So, if a double bass is an upright, what’s a single bass?  Kissing a cellist?”

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Global Warming:  this is what it sounds like when doves fry.  Come to think of it, I hear them crying, too.

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Frankly, I do think someone would have given a damn if The Ten Commandments had been plastered all over the entrance to Tara.

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The latest fundraising trend is to “call out” someone and make them “jump in” a pool for money.  I once knew a guy who called another guy and gave him money to make yet another guy go jump “in the lake”.

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After going through the self check-out with bulky furnace filters and setting off the store alarm as I left Home Depot, I decided to make a run for it, just for fun.  No one noticed.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and words may sting, but attitude can suck balls.

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That awkward moment when you’re holding your cell phone and try to use it as a remote on the TV.

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Laying on the family room floor with the kid, lazily looking at phones.  I said, “let’s get some fresh air.”  Then I opened the sliders.

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That gerbil on the wheel may be getting nowhere, but he’s burning calories.

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Sometimes I’m nervous that I will get nervous.

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They don’t call the northeast portion of Connecticut “The Quiet Corner” for nothing.  #NoCellNoRadioSignal

Quiet Corner CT

 

 

 

 

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