Living Libretto

If ignorance is bliss, I’m going to have to un-learn a few things to be happy.


My son saw me do a quick prayer and visualization in the car after a stressful driving incident.  He helpfully offered, “I just farted into your white light.”

I said, “The white light is immune to your farts.  Otherwise we’d have died long ago.”


“Shut up and comb your breasts”: what a cranky mother might say to her transgender son.


I’m glad I’m a writer, because writers get things done!  And now I must finish painting the bathroom.


What is your emotional age if you find it funny when someone butt-dials you for “Face Time”?


Instead of pictures of my new tattoo, each week I will showcase a different varicose vein.  (I also currently have a black and blue mark that looks like Jesus.)

bruise of jesus


Me, yelling at the neighbor’s dog:  “Would you shut the fuck up!  I’m going to sell you to a Chinese restaurant for next to nothing.  You’ll make a nice Poopoo platter.  I can see you’ve already been making those in your back yard.”


A guy with two bars walks into a gas station.

gas gauge


Famous narrator at home, observing wife in bathroom:  “She chooses the green plastic disposable shavers.  She opens the bag, she removes the topmost shaver.  She shaves every other week, but really should do it a little more frequently.”


Don’t put off today what you need to do today because the coupon expires.


Good looks are all about genetics and access to fresh fruit.


Ann Coulter muppet meme

About Joanna Rapoza

I've gone to (100's of) pieces here in my blogs. Read, enjoy, laugh, cure insomnia; it's your choice.
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