In A Pithy Mood

When people ask for a nice Hawaiian punch line, I say kummoniwannaleah.
The unpasteurized apple cider we’ve been enjoying from the local farm-stand contains something known as a “pre-biotic”. You drink it before you have diarrhea.

Regarding the nurse from Maine who violated her ebola quarantine: I’d like a second opinion.
Morbidly obese person: “An apple a day is supposed to keep the doctor away. Now if I could just find that apple…”
I don’t take an aspirin every day. Every day, I take my chances.
Old geishas never die, they just limp away.
When people are talking about beer flavors, how come they never say they sense overtones of “grain silo”?
My son had a 9 p.m. hockey game, which required a nap during the day. For me.
Every time a selfie of some hot babe I don’t know comes up in my Facebook feed because a male friend and a zillion other guys liked it and/or commented, I unfollow the woman because I can’t stand when females contribute directly to their own sexual objectification. They should believe they’re sexy without looking like hookers, unless they actually are hookers, in which case, kudos to them.
Support the Vulgar Arts:  go see a stand-up comedy show near you today.

Jo at Caroline's June 2012


About Joanna Rapoza

I've gone to (100's of) pieces here in my blogs. Read, enjoy, laugh, cure insomnia; it's your choice.
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