In A Pithy Mood

When people ask for a nice Hawaiian punch line, I say kummoniwannaleah.
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The unpasteurized apple cider we’ve been enjoying from the local farm-stand contains something known as a “pre-biotic”. You drink it before you have diarrhea.

glass-of-cider
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Regarding the nurse from Maine who violated her ebola quarantine: I’d like a second opinion.
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Morbidly obese person: “An apple a day is supposed to keep the doctor away. Now if I could just find that apple…”
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I don’t take an aspirin every day. Every day, I take my chances.
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Old geishas never die, they just limp away.
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When people are talking about beer flavors, how come they never say they sense overtones of “grain silo”?
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My son had a 9 p.m. hockey game, which required a nap during the day. For me.
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Every time a selfie of some hot babe I don’t know comes up in my Facebook feed because a male friend and a zillion other guys liked it and/or commented, I unfollow the woman because I can’t stand when females contribute directly to their own sexual objectification. They should believe they’re sexy without looking like hookers, unless they actually are hookers, in which case, kudos to them.
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Support the Vulgar Arts:  go see a stand-up comedy show near you today.

Jo at Caroline's June 2012

 

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