420 Honey

How can I take all those Buzzfeed quizzes seriously when they are riddled with spelling errors?

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Is it still considered temperance if it’s imposed?

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Two cowboys sidle up to a bar in the old Wild West, glaring at each other. One barks at the bartender, “Vicodin,” and the other says “Percocet,” and they continue to give one another looks of death. #pharmawarriors

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Native American emerges from teepee to greet Peapod truck:  “I asked for a peace pipe.  But, OK.  We’re out of bananas.”

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I had a chilling sense of déjà vu watching English Premier League soccer with my son.  I asked him, “How long is their season?”  And he replied, “I don’t know.”  We sat there for a moment, and I realized I didn’t care the other time either.

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I like free range chicken as well as its offspring, free rolling eggs.

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Bracelets for Mike Tyson’s charity are worn on the ankle.

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It says a lot in the bible about wine, but no where, ever, does it mention the Sulfites.  (A bothersome group, but good at preserving their stuff.)

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A naked man hiding in the ceiling of a Logan Airport ladies’ room broke through and ran away frantically.  He assaulted an old man with his own cane as he attempted to flee, unclothed, through the terminal.  But, hey, no delay at the scanner for that guy.

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I’d like to start the cannabis version of Edible Arrangements and call it “Reefer A Friend”.

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Women who complain there’s no mini-bar in this crappy hotel are too classy to do the practical thing and carry a pint of something in their purse.

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Something tells me The Girl With The Pearl Earring also got a necklace to go with it.

Girl With The Pearl Earring

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