Casual Schmear

Do you know where cashmere comes from? It is not actually wool. It is from the undercoat hair of goats in the Kashmir region of India, combed out during molting season, and made into yarn.

I’ve brushed many cats, creating fur tumbleweeds, and have sometimes thought, “I bet I could make some yarn and a sweater out of this!” Now, I don’t feel so weird; I probably could have done just such a thing, if I were not so lazy and ignorant.

Why haven’t the Kardashians started collecting their shed hair (I suspect they produce a lot), and making garments from it? I seriously wonder why no famous, egotistical people out there haven’t started marketing clothing made from their own personal “cashmere”. Hell, Donald Trump could have twice the fortune he has now if only he’d thought of this. He certainly has the balls to do such a thing! Which reminds me, from humans, cashmere hair should come from the head. But I bet you’d get a whole contingent of people who’d love to wear a vest woven with fibers from The Donald’s ball hairs.  It might make them feel empowered to get better deals.

Trump ripe for harvest

Ripe for harvesting.

Actually, I have a sense that we’ll be seeing something like this soon coming from Caitlyn Jenner. She still has her tackle gear, and she can regularly harvest fibers for sale, as that would appear to fit in with her calling in life. Caitlyn will probably cut herself a great deal, exclaiming, “I don’t even have to pay for Brazilians. They pay me for my ball hair!”


Stay classy, Bruce.



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