Valley of the Trolls

Kids today mature quickly. I overheard third graders playing Duck Duck Grey Goose.

gray goose

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The other night I parked at a club next to a motel where a fatal stabbing had just occurred. I positioned my car just out of arms’ reach.

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Henny Youngman as a devout Mormon: “Take my wives, please.”

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I met a really nice comedian who was covered in tattoos. He had full sleeves and everything. He has a daytime job, works with kids and they love him. They think he’s animated.

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They fought so bitterly during the Republican “debates”, Donald Trump and Marco Rubio will no doubt one day be featured in a gay porno called “Trading Blows.”

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If Cinderella had been a Jewish Princess, she could have stayed at The Ball until 1 a.m.

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I’m surprised the Kardashians haven’t ko-opted their own version of religion and kalled it Khristianity. I wish they’d klimb onto their yakht and sail to Syria.

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These days, many journalists are driven to drink…the mainstream media Kool-aid.

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I received an email from Verizon Wireless telling me I’m going paperless, so I printed it out.

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There should be a “useless” button on Facebook for when you watch a five-minute video thinking you’re going to learn something, but you don’t.

Facebook angry face

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Since we’ve regressed this much, why don’t Trump and Cruz just have a duel?

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Obama may be a lame duck, but Ted Cruz is a complete loon.

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Here’s the thing about those videos of cats being startled by cucumbers. None of those cats were female.

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April is Alzheimer’s Awareness Month. On May 1st they tell patients, “OK, you can go back to what you were doing.”

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It’s extra disturbing running into dirty old men who are actually younger than I am.

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Despite my efforts to fix it, Facebook keeps communicating with me partly in Italian, so I called it a Stugatz.

Italian Facebook email

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To the guys who keep posting face-swap pics of themselves and their GFs on Facebook: why don’t you do a dick swap? Oh, I see you already have.

Ted Cruz face swap

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That super-famous guy on Facebook with no arms or  legs but a wife and kids: apparently he’s still got one working appendage.

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I read that phthalates in commercially-produced chicken can make your child’s penis small. And that’s why I serve my son only the finest quality foot long hot dogs.

foot long hot dog SNIPPED

About Joanna Rapoza

I've gone to (100's of) pieces here in my blogs. Read, enjoy, laugh, cure insomnia; it's your choice.
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1 Response to Valley of the Trolls

  1. doolinpup@aol.com says:

    Loved them, especially the one about the duel…it’s so true!

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