10 Things I Didn’t Care To Read About Donald Trump, But Was Willing To Ridicule

Donald Trump close up

1. “He may seem like a Manhattanite, but Donald grew up in Queens, NY, in the neighborhood known as Jamaica Estates.”

I actually had him pegged for Rego Park.

2. “He wanted ‘to court’ Princess Diana. ‘She was a genuine princess – a dream lady,’ he says in his 1997 book ‘The Art of the Comeback.'”

Nice comeback, Donald! She chose Dodi over you. (Not the wisest move on her part, I would admit.) Even if Diana were still living, or a paraplegic…you’d have no chance.

Princess Di

3. “He attended the New York Military Academy and says it gave him ‘more training militarily than a lot of the guys that go into the military.'”

I’m just gonna let that one sink in for those of you who are not averse to trying to beat the shit out of him.

4. “He’s a big WWE wrestling fan and has taken part in a bunch of WWE events, including ‘Wrestlemania.'”

Yet another lovely characteristic America can be proud of in a potential future president.
#Idiocracy

5. “He’s hosted NBC’s Saturday Night Live twice – once in 2004 and again in 2015.”

And I guarantee you, he will not be invited back.

6. “Second wife Marla Maples said sex with him was the best she ever had.”

She’s also fond of orangutans.

7. “After singer Jennifer Hudson’s mom, brother and nephew were murdered in 2008, Donald had Jennifer and some relatives stay for free at the Trump International Hotel and Tower.”

He expected them to provide their own maid service for the entire stay.

8. “‘My net worth fluctuates,’ admits Donald, ‘and it goes up and down with markets and with attitudes and with feelings – even my own feelings.'”

I have a feeling this is a guy who does not understand financial markets, or feelings. Also, note to Donald: “crotch” is not a “feeling.”

9. “He has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.”

People are known to take their dogs specifically to that spot to defecate.

Donald Trump's star

10. “Clean-freak Donald beat his hand-shaking phobia on the campaign trail!”

Leave it to a tabloid to leak such an interesting tidbit!

Way to freak The Donald out at his next event: just before shaking hands, visibly rub your nose.

(Original column in quotes and italics; from Globe magazine April 25, 2016 issue)

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5 Responses to 10 Things I Didn’t Care To Read About Donald Trump, But Was Willing To Ridicule

  1. John Dumez says:

    Too funny! I have my sister and mom visiting and they are HUGE Trump supporters. Ugh!!!

    John

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  2. John Dumez says:

    I’m surrounded by idiots at home and at work!!! Help!!!! 😩

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  3. JOHN move back to CT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ❤

  4. doolinpup@aol.com says:

    Loved it. Thanks!

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