Serious Rendered Silly

A foreign friend texted me, “Thanks for your friendship and stupor.” I’m pretty sure she meant “support,” but I do offer both.

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I keep waiting to see a Cialis commercial with two gay men, or an interracial couple. But America’s not quite ready for that; currently, we’re only allowed to see representations of establishment-endorsed boning.

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Obama’s made several trips to Riyadh, and has been involved in the selling of more arms to Saudi Arabia than any other American president. I think he keeps making trips because he has trouble “latching on.”

Obama Riyadh.jpg

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Who is not concerned about their water quality? If you have well water, you’re worried about benzene or other pollutants in the ground. If you have tap water, you may have to deal with chlorine, fluoride and lead. But one thing I’m not worried about is tetrahydrocannabinol. I think they should pump some of that stuff into our water system, and then we would truly have a much kinder, gentler nation. And I bet, less inflammation.

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Why doesn’t anyone call Hillary a communist? They’re also into weird pant suits.

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Who can blame kids for considering dealing drugs when they see how lucrative it’s been for Big Pharma?

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My son was going to see a speaker at the high school talk about how he’d ruined his life with drugs, but decided to skip it. I told him, “You know, if you ever have any questions, you can always come to me.”

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Bernie and Hillary, An Opera:  Bernie and Hillary stand on the stage. A series of their surrogates come out and throw acid everywhere. Then Hillary sings, and it’s over.

Bern and Hill

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Scientists at Colorado State University did a study that determined the louder you chew, the less you will eat. They also said to try the brownies.

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Hey, Windows, I see you’ve recovered from an unexpected shutdown again. It’s not so unexpected anymore because it happens so fucking frequently. #bugs

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I HATE TO ADMIT IT, BUT I NOW NEED LARGE PRINT.

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Donald Trump doesn’t shoot from the hip so much as from the love handles.

Donald Trump golfing

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A maternity hospital was bombed in Syria. I don’t think they covered that in “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.”

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I read of a beauty pageant contestant who had a seizure while performing. She got up, and finished. She wasn’t crowned, but she did get “Most Clutch.”

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A new scientific study says Psilocybin cures depression. I knew people in college who engaged in lay studies decades ago.

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Pampers has a video featuring the facial expressions of infants as they fill their diapers. I hope Depends doesn’t get any ideas.

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Muppets 2016 has been cancelled. Apparently we already have enough empty heads on TV talking out their ass.

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Richard Nixon was famous for the line “I am not a crook”, but he could never bring himself to say “I am not a Dick.”

Nixon not a crook

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I’m positive that during the recent Senate sit-in regarding gun legislation, a woman in a skirt sat cross legged and winked at someone.

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How about that lady in Australia who woke up with a 15 foot python in her bed? Talk about laying down some major pipeline. BTW snakes can’t operate The Clapper, but they can very effectively knock over lamps.

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Right after the California Democratic primary, Bernie Sanders made history by giving a speech, live streaming from his home in the state of Vermont, or as Sarah Palin calls it, New Hampshire.

NH and VT map.jpg

 

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One Response to Serious Rendered Silly

  1. doolinpup@aol.com says:

    LOVED the one about Pampers and Depends!

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