Standing in my filth: Pig-Pen’s memoir channeled through a lazy housewife

Here’s the main difference between me and the Queen of England: she insists that workers in Buckingham palace walk backwards as they vacuum, so that they don’t leave any footprints. I don’t vacuum.

They say it can be deeply disturbing to your children if they see you doing something really unusual. I recently traumatized my son when he found me cleaning his bathroom.

When my kid says to me the house is messy and what am I doing all day, I reply, the same as you: looking at my phone and fondling my balls.

This whole sitting around with the weight of the world on your shoulders is much more difficult than you’d imagine. For one thing, it really aggravates your hemorrhoids.

Just remember: they say to never judge another person until you get the complete story. This is why it’s very important to always get the complete story.

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One Response to Standing in my filth: Pig-Pen’s memoir channeled through a lazy housewife

  1. doolinpup@aol.com says:

    I feel your pain….

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