Last week, I went through a series of procedures to remove varicose veins from my legs. I told the vascular surgeon that he was the reason I would be able to wear hotpants on stage this summer – but never cargo shorts; that would be déclassé!
I’m already through the most painful part of the procedures: learning what portion I owe after insurance.
It was quite an operation they had over at the Vein Clinics of America, no pun intended. The team really seemed to know what they were doing. After the first session, as the medical staff was leaving the procedure room, I said, “I’ve done a little bit of sketch comedy, and you guys are very good.“ The words came out of my mouth before I had a chance to think, previewing comedy with something akin to hot pants: surgical shorts. I think some of the lidocaine had gone to my head, straight through my small saphenous vein.
Betty Grable may have had “million dollar legs”, but I know that the cost to fix varicose veins in MY gams totaled $10,000, only half of which was covered by insurance. I’m going to need to get on stage a whole lot in hotpants this summer to take care of THAT bill!