Tag Archives: balls

Standing in my filth: Pig-Pen’s memoir channeled through a lazy housewife

Here’s the main difference between me and the Queen of England: she insists that workers in Buckingham palace walk backwards as they vacuum, so that they don’t leave any footprints. I don’t vacuum. They say it can be deeply disturbing … Continue reading

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Page V. Stage

I knew a kid growing up who had permissive, hippie parents. The advice they gave her about having sex? “Always get a last name.” *********************************** It comes in handy that everything you need to know you learned in kindergarten, because … Continue reading

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Nasty Senior Citizen Subtweets

Old_Yeller @yellholes                            4/15/14 Stop lying to the IRS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Madge @wigs4us                                 … Continue reading

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iBlurbed & other taboo tattoos

Love is never having to tell that special someone to stop fucking around. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When it comes to addiction, four hits is the new three. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I keep hearing folks on TV say “look at the metrics” and “look at … Continue reading

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Dyslexic people struggle to read 7/24

I found an old letter from Manischewitz apologizing for gefilte fish. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I don’t like listening to podcasts because I feel like I’m eavesdropping on a conversation in which I have absolutely no interest whatsoever. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Trying to make small … Continue reading

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Tuesday Night Musings Dump

I Get Etiquette Manners perpetuate the idea that you cease being an animal when you stop acting like one. I’m gonna cling to that.  It’s the only hope for the human race. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Things Grace Whitestone Would Say “Riding my bike … Continue reading

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Tickling Tidbits for a Tuesday

Sh!t Music I love my kid’s music organization system.  Most of it’s filed under the piano. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Butt of the Conversation: The strangest thing I ever overheard when someone butt-dialed me was a colonoscopy procedure. (The butt-dialer was the doctor, … Continue reading

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