Tag Archives: Between Two Ferns

I’ve Been Told Not To Speak At Super Bowl Parties, So I Wrote This For Zach Galifianakis

Dear Mr. Galifianakis: Today is the 100th Sunday since the 87th Thursday beyond the very first Monday that I began my heretofore financially unprofitable yet still artistically rewarding comedy career. So that’s what makes it an especially weird coinkydinky that I … Continue reading

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The Gender Crap

Why my early arguments didn’t work well: “She may have a bigger boob size, but I have a larger IQ.” “You can’t motorboat an IQ.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Roughly 50% of the people who sit for the PSATs don’t actually sit when … Continue reading

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