Tag Archives: bitch

Don’t hate me because I’m lovable

Why has no one yet opened a chain of comedy club/restaurants with Hooters-style waitresses and called it “Titters”? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Emotions are like breasts. They’re meant to be felt. Also if you try hard, you can lick an emotion. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My … Continue reading

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In A Pithy Mood

When people ask for a nice Hawaiian punch line, I say kummoniwannaleah. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The unpasteurized apple cider we’ve been enjoying from the local farm-stand contains something known as a “pre-biotic”. You drink it before you have diarrhea. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Regarding the … Continue reading

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Fly On A Ritzy Wall

I try to imagine the private goings-on of famous, powerful people. Bill Gates has a custom laptop with an ivory keyboard.  (It’s a Mac Pro.) Chris Christie complains to his wife:  “People ask ‘what exit?’  I need three.” Barbara Walters … Continue reading

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