Tag Archives: boobs

Don’t hate me because I’m lovable

Why has no one yet opened a chain of comedy club/restaurants with Hooters-style waitresses and called it “Titters”? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Emotions are like breasts. They’re meant to be felt. Also if you try hard, you can lick an emotion. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My … Continue reading

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Power to the Piehole

I’d rather be a ponderer than a panderer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If I ever got divorced and started dating again I’d do things with men I never did with my husband. I would definitely try to talk less while watching movies. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ … Continue reading

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Prepareth a Diaper For Mine Enemies

If I could obtain some tiny revenge on the living individuals who’ve hurt me the most… To the nasty boss who did a malicious thing to me while I was in my last semester of college:  I hope her forearms … Continue reading

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I Heart One-Liners

IBS also keeps my mind clear. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Why do I need a colonoscopy?  My ass gets checked out every day. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My neighborhood is a high crime area.  Bitches be gettin’ high there all the time. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Why have I … Continue reading

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