Tag Archives: cell phone

Standing in my filth: Pig-Pen’s memoir channeled through a lazy housewife

Here’s the main difference between me and the Queen of England: she insists that workers in Buckingham palace walk backwards as they vacuum, so that they don’t leave any footprints. I don’t vacuum. They say it can be deeply disturbing … Continue reading

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Valley of the Trolls

Kids today mature quickly. I overheard third graders playing Duck Duck Grey Goose. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The other night I parked at a club next to a motel where a fatal stabbing had just occurred. I positioned my car just out of … Continue reading

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See Jane Text

See Jane text. Text, Jane, text. Jane texts Dick. Dick texts Jane. Sends dick pic. Jane blocks Dick. Dick learns lesson. Don’t drunk text. And need better lighting.

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Unconscious Couplings

I think a Cheese Whiz creature came alive in the back of my pantry. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I saw a carpenter ant walk by carrying a toenail clipping.  Clearly working on a large project. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cartoon idea:  two girls arriving at an … Continue reading

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Dyslexic people struggle to read 7/24

I found an old letter from Manischewitz apologizing for gefilte fish. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I don’t like listening to podcasts because I feel like I’m eavesdropping on a conversation in which I have absolutely no interest whatsoever. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Trying to make small … Continue reading

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