Tag Archives: children

Standing in my filth: Pig-Pen’s memoir channeled through a lazy housewife

Here’s the main difference between me and the Queen of England: she insists that workers in Buckingham palace walk backwards as they vacuum, so that they don’t leave any footprints. I don’t vacuum. They say it can be deeply disturbing … Continue reading

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I’m delusional, but it works for me

Dear Aging Celebrities who suddenly open a Facebook account and begin posting refried quotes, old pictures of yourselves, and comments like, “I wonder if anyone remembers who I am”: I wonder if you remember who you are. Or if it’s … Continue reading

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Valley of the Trolls

Kids today mature quickly. I overheard third graders playing Duck Duck Grey Goose. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The other night I parked at a club next to a motel where a fatal stabbing had just occurred. I positioned my car just out of … Continue reading

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If You Can Afford A Life Coach, Then You Might Not Need One

I saw in the news that an Airbnb was built on an old Native American burial ground. The giveaway for the reporter was a hotel manager with the name tag Sheets Like Sandpaper. *********************************** It’s always better to be funny. If … Continue reading

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Living Libretto

If ignorance is bliss, I’m going to have to un-learn a few things to be happy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My son saw me do a quick prayer and visualization in the car after a stressful driving incident.  He helpfully offered, “I just … Continue reading

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Whoops I just published again

George W. Bush currently has paintings on display.  There’s one of Vladimir Putin.  I’m glad he didn’t do him naked. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you’ve got an extra large penis, you should donate a portion to Cocks of Love. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Child looking … Continue reading

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Then Vs. Now: The Activities of Childhood

When I was a kid, I did not watch nearly as much TV as kids do today.  The reasons are multiple.  For one, we were free to roam around on our bikes, without helmets, and without our parents constantly trying … Continue reading

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