Tag Archives: dogs

Seminal Sunday Stream

If the majority of history’s greatest writers had been potheads instead of drunks, we’d have far fewer books. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If Ogden Nash were alive, he’d write: “Trump has won / Clinton didn’t get it done / I will not bicker … Continue reading

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Thank You For Not Deleting This

Whenever I see someone overcompensating, I want to smash every single window in their house. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If I had a better memory, I suspect I’d be a lot less forgiving. #forget&forgive ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ New York is supposedly the city that never … Continue reading

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4 Text Monsters

Finger on the Trigger:  You never hear from these people, except when texted, they respond with lightning speed.  (Also known as “Lurkers”.) Throw ‘Em a Bone:  Your fear is if you contact these pests, they’ll text back fast and furious … Continue reading

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#ChangeAWordRuinADisneyMovie ….. and why?

“The Shagging Dog”….. because they never fixed him ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Toupée”….. it was a bad hair day from hell ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Fartasia”….. epic Chinese food gastro turbulence (set to music) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “30,000 Leagues … Continue reading

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Fecal And Other Positions

Ever hear someone fart with a flourish?  They think they’re being fancy, but they actually just shat themselves. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The most disturbing thing about those Howard Stern pay-per-view cable specials from the early 90’s is that they’re no longer disturbing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ … Continue reading

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Just Did It

The To Do List is a local comedy show wherein about a half-dozen random words are generated by the host and given to each comic to develop monologues. I’m going to give the 12/5/13 show list a whirl (it was on … Continue reading

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Memo to the POTUS

On the new and brilliant HBO show “VEEP“, the hilarious Julia Louis-Dreyfus (as VP Selina Meyer) constantly asks her assistant, “Did the President call?” Well, I just got an email from the POTUS saying he’s about to be outspent.  (I … Continue reading

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