Tag Archives: hemorrhoids

🎶 Holding out for a pillow 🎶

Where have all the good chairs gone? And where are all the Tucks? Where’s the streetwise proctologist who can straighten out all us cucks? Isn’t there a magic cure beyond what I can see? Late at night I toss and … Continue reading

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Standing in my filth: Pig-Pen’s memoir channeled through a lazy housewife

Here’s the main difference between me and the Queen of England: she insists that workers in Buckingham palace walk backwards as they vacuum, so that they don’t leave any footprints. I don’t vacuum. They say it can be deeply disturbing … Continue reading

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Two Jerks In A Circle

Just to see if he was listening, I told my kid I saw a Cialis commercial with two gay guys. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bruce Jenner proved once again that behind every great man, there’s a woman. The TV movie based upon his … Continue reading

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Atheist Kids Want Mall Grinch

I wonder if Grinch and Shrek were in the same play group as toddlers. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Today’s medications get stuck in your throat just saying them.  Zaljang? Zolmitriptan?  Zackackackackackackack!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If I were young, I’d move to Denver to start a … Continue reading

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