Tag Archives: husband

Don’t hate me because I’m lovable

Why has no one yet opened a chain of comedy club/restaurants with Hooters-style waitresses and called it “Titters”? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Emotions are like breasts. They’re meant to be felt. Also if you try hard, you can lick an emotion. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My … Continue reading

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Power to the Piehole

I’d rather be a ponderer than a panderer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If I ever got divorced and started dating again I’d do things with men I never did with my husband. I would definitely try to talk less while watching movies. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ … Continue reading

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Seminal Sunday Stream

If the majority of history’s greatest writers had been potheads instead of drunks, we’d have far fewer books. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If Ogden Nash were alive, he’d write: “Trump has won / Clinton didn’t get it done / I will not bicker … Continue reading

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I’m delusional, but it works for me

Dear Aging Celebrities who suddenly open a Facebook account and begin posting refried quotes, old pictures of yourselves, and comments like, “I wonder if anyone remembers who I am”: I wonder if you remember who you are. Or if it’s … Continue reading

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I’m Too Sexy For My Car

When I saw the beautiful new BMW that my attractive friend recently bought, it made me realize that I’m too sexy for every vehicle I’ve ever owned. My first car was a double hand-me-down: a tan-colored 1970 Ford Custom (4-door … Continue reading

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RangeleyMoose Ruminations for the end of January, 2012

These are some recent examples of my inimitable lines of thinking: Dirt-y Dancing:  I’ve long had a reputation for being a tree hugger, but last year I made the conscious decision to become an earth-kisser, as well. I recommend doing … Continue reading

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