Tag Archives: parents

In need of a good Egopuncturist

They say heavy people can be remarkably skilled dancers, and I know it’s true because I saw a big lady popping and locking while making a panini. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “All good things must come to an end” is one of those … Continue reading

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Major Crwnage

Older women are like fine wine. They deserve to be drunk. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I hate when you’re trying to throw away a Styrofoam peanut and it keeps sticking to your hand. I also hate knowing that 45 years ago, this would have … Continue reading

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I’m delusional, but it works for me

Dear Aging Celebrities who suddenly open a Facebook account and begin posting refried quotes, old pictures of yourselves, and comments like, “I wonder if anyone remembers who I am”: I wonder if you remember who you are. Or if it’s … Continue reading

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Page V. Stage

I knew a kid growing up who had permissive, hippie parents. The advice they gave her about having sex? “Always get a last name.” *********************************** It comes in handy that everything you need to know you learned in kindergarten, because … Continue reading

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