Tag Archives: pregnant

I’m changing my name to Joyanna because I want to be happier, dammit

A woman once told me I was the most beautiful pregnant person she’d ever seen. At the time my son was six months old. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cleaning out the closet and found a 1980 issue of Playboy. Talk about big hair. … Continue reading

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I’m Too Sexy For My Car

When I saw the beautiful new BMW that my attractive friend recently bought, it made me realize that I’m too sexy for every vehicle I’ve ever owned. My first car was a double hand-me-down: a tan-colored 1970 Ford Custom (4-door … Continue reading

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Dark Thoughts For Black Friday

When I’m bloated and shopping I want to park in the expectant mother’s spot.  I mean, who’s gonna ask? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What’s worse than a receding hairline?  An encroaching one where it doesn’t belong. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Don’t stop taking your medication before … Continue reading

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