Tag Archives: sex

Don’t hate me because I’m lovable

Why has no one yet opened a chain of comedy club/restaurants with Hooters-style waitresses and called it “Titters”? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Emotions are like breasts. They’re meant to be felt. Also if you try hard, you can lick an emotion. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My … Continue reading

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Seminal Sunday Stream

If the majority of history’s greatest writers had been potheads instead of drunks, we’d have far fewer books. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If Ogden Nash were alive, he’d write: “Trump has won / Clinton didn’t get it done / I will not bicker … Continue reading

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I’m not a Schadenfreudist, but I like watching them on TV

Not to be outdone in the kinky department, BET is releasing a movie titled “Fifty Shades of Ashy.” **************************** Confucius said, “Man who doesn’t wash hands after bathroom not wise man.” My Vietnamese nail lady says, “Skinny guys good for … Continue reading

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Serious Rendered Silly

A foreign friend texted me, “Thanks for your friendship and stupor.” I’m pretty sure she meant “support,” but I do offer both. ****************************** I keep waiting to see a Cialis commercial with two gay men, or an interracial couple. But … Continue reading

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10 Things I Didn’t Care To Read About Donald Trump, But Was Willing To Ridicule

1. “He may seem like a Manhattanite, but Donald grew up in Queens, NY, in the neighborhood known as Jamaica Estates.” I actually had him pegged for Rego Park. 2. “He wanted ‘to court’ Princess Diana. ‘She was a genuine … Continue reading

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Page V. Stage

I knew a kid growing up who had permissive, hippie parents. The advice they gave her about having sex? “Always get a last name.” *********************************** It comes in handy that everything you need to know you learned in kindergarten, because … Continue reading

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Thank You For Not Deleting This

Whenever I see someone overcompensating, I want to smash every single window in their house. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If I had a better memory, I suspect I’d be a lot less forgiving. #forget&forgive ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ New York is supposedly the city that never … Continue reading

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