Tag Archives: teenagers

Page V. Stage

I knew a kid growing up who had permissive, hippie parents. The advice they gave her about having sex? “Always get a last name.” *********************************** It comes in handy that everything you need to know you learned in kindergarten, because … Continue reading

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Thank You For Not Deleting This

Whenever I see someone overcompensating, I want to smash every single window in their house. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If I had a better memory, I suspect I’d be a lot less forgiving. #forget&forgive ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ New York is supposedly the city that never … Continue reading

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420 Honey

How can I take all those Buzzfeed quizzes seriously when they are riddled with spelling errors? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Is it still considered temperance if it’s imposed? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two cowboys sidle up to a bar in the old Wild West, glaring at … Continue reading

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This, But That

When I’m severely anxiety-ridden, I remind myself of the two most important things a human being needs to hear:  I am safe, and I am cute. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I’d rather have a bottlenose dolphin in front of me than a frontal … Continue reading

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Nasty Senior Citizen Subtweets

Old_Yeller @yellholes                            4/15/14 Stop lying to the IRS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Madge @wigs4us                                 … Continue reading

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Dyslexic people struggle to read 7/24

I found an old letter from Manischewitz apologizing for gefilte fish. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I don’t like listening to podcasts because I feel like I’m eavesdropping on a conversation in which I have absolutely no interest whatsoever. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Trying to make small … Continue reading

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Crystals in the Dirt

I will prognosticate, but not in public. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My super-sonic toothbrush is so powerful that it gets below my gum-line, and also felled one of the neighbor’s saplings. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Car behind me the other day didn’t have a bra so … Continue reading

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