Tag Archives: women

My First Honorarium

I’ve never officially won any honors other than consistently doing well academically, and once guessing the correct number of candy corns in a giant jar at Manchester Honda. I was therefore very honored and excited to have been invited to … Continue reading

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Don’t hate me because I’m lovable

Why has no one yet opened a chain of comedy club/restaurants with Hooters-style waitresses and called it “Titters”? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Emotions are like breasts. They’re meant to be felt. Also if you try hard, you can lick an emotion. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My … Continue reading

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Yays and Neighs and Mayonnaise

To the public figures who constantly self-brand by referring to themselves in the third person with a hashtag and/or to those who feel they can only express themselves with a series of hashtagged phrases: #waytobecool #butyourselfesteemisquestionable #yourmomdidacrapjob #PeopleLoveJoanna #Icandoittoo #Momsaidicould … Continue reading

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I Eat Like A Frenchwoman But I Burp Like A Scotsman

I’m surprised Lady Gaga hasn’t done a remake of Helen Reddy’s hit and called it, “I Am Woman, Hear Me Burp.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I read a new analysis about addiction that concluded it’s only when rats are kept in isolation, as … Continue reading

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First Brain-Dump Of 2013

  It’s “Snot” What You Might Think:   Crime scene DNA evidence often seems to come from hair, blood, skin, or semen -never mucous or phlegm.  Did you ever notice that?  I posit that people with sinus problems never commit murder.  … Continue reading

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